I GOT THAT A LOT

Hello guys!
It's been a long time that I didn't do all this 'writing thingy'. So my brain is quite a little bit freeze to find the words when i'm start to write.

Back to my topic, I GOT THAT A LOT.
What do you got a lot in your entire life? I'm sure there's might be something that we got a lot in our life. But what is it? Personally for me there are so many things that I had got and keep get it over and over again till now.

First thing that the most I got is people always confuse between me and my brother. Every time I met people that rarely meet me, they always think that I'm much older than my brother. I don't get any idea how they can say and think like that. In fact, my brother is 2 years older than me. How could they said like that. Am I look too older? Hahaha.

Beside that, I always got the same question by people. What's that question?
Whenever my family attended the wedding, usually I will be the ones who will take care and look for my nieces and nephews. Much more like babysitter at any event that we attended. And there must be at least one person that approach me and ask "is this your children?". That question is always killing me. Every time we go back home, my family will teasing me with that question. Sometimes quite annoying for me.

What the other thing that I got a lot? hmm, of course whenever I go to shopping complex to find for pants or shoes, I always told by the seller " sorry, we don't have that size". That is the most heart wrenching statement that I had heard in my life and keep repeating over and over again. Can you imagine that when you finally find the things that you really want and you like it, but suddenly there is no size available for you. I always had that feeling. I don't think that I'm too small but for sure when I want to buy something that I like, there's no size for me. 

Apart from that, I always being misjudged by people. Whenever I asked my friends what is their first perception towards me, most of them will said that they did not expect that I'm a such 'crazy' person. They usually misjudged me by thinking that I'm a shy and arrogant person. Hahahaha. For those who know me, they will know exactly how I am. I'm a person that never have that kind of shy and arrogant things in me. They will see that I'm a completely different person when they know me better.

That's all for now guys. Thank you for having your time reading my journal. 

Do you know what it's like to be judged?
Before you judge someone by their appearance, you should know what actually inside that person. Just because others have labeled them with so many kinds of words, doesn't mean that really says anything about that person. Most of us don't take their time to understand others and usually rely on what they hear from rumors, or what their eyes let them see. 

Because eyes sometimes can be deceiving.

As human, we tend to hide our personal information away from other individuals. Don't want to get sympathize by other people. Don't want to show the flaws of our life to people. That's also happened to me. Sometimes, people might see us having the most perfect life ever, but how would they know if we're currently struggling or not?

This far in life, I've been hurt and used but no one really knows. Most assume that I have the most colorful and cheerful life. In reality, I am just putting on a facade for the entire world to see.
No one would expect for me to grow up without a complete family like others because of how positive I am about practically everything. I owe it to my mother. She has been through so much in her life, but she always had a positive outlook in life. I try to block out all the negatives thought that I'd encounter. Without her molding me to be positive, I would be a negative thinker like the majority of people in this world.

Sometimes, it was hurt to being misjudged by people around us. Misjudge by being too friendly or by being too cheerful. It could be that it is the only way that can make the mind forget about every hard times that someone being through.

So,stop making assumptions or misjudge someone by their appearance or the way how they behave. Because for every actions, there are their own story lie behind it.